Unusual quotes (not verified)

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

- Mark Twain


The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.

- George Burns

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

- Mark Twain

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy;
if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

- Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

- Groucho Marx

I have never hated a man enough to give back his diamonds.

- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat..

- Alex Levine

Money can't buy you happiness .. But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

- Spike Milligan

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.

- Joe Namath

I don't feel old.. I don't feel anything until noon.

Then it's time for my nap.

- Bob Hope

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to
work its way through Congress

- Will Rogers

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older,
it will avoid you.

- Winston Churchill

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step,
he's too old to go anywhere

- Billy Crystal