Monday, November 30, 2009

Thanksgiving Quiz

How smart are you on the subject of Thanksgiving?  To find out, go to:
http://home.aristotle.net/Thanksgiving/trivia.asp

Air Force Test

Test your skills.  I last 10.56 seconds.

If you can go longer than 18 seconds you are phenomenal.

It's been said that the US Air Force uses this for fighter pilots.

They are expected to go for at least 2 minutes.

Give it a try but be careful....it may be addictive!!

 http://members.iinet.net.au/~pontipak/redsquare.html <-------- click here



good luck you'll need it for 10 seconds

Let me finish...

Ole, had a car accident.

In court, the trucking company's lawyer was questioning Ole.

"Didn't you say, sir, at the scene of the accident,

'I'm fine.'?" asked the lawyer.

Ole responded, "Vell, I'll tell you vat happened.

I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the..."

"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted.

"Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"

Ole said, "Vell, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road..."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Minnesota Highway

Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue
my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question." The lawyer insisted.

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Ole's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie."

Ole thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Vell as I vas saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into da trailer and vas driving her down da highvay ven dis huge semi-truck and trailer ran da stop sign and smacked my truck right in da side. I vas trown

into one ditch and Bessie vas trown into da other. I vas hurting real bad and didn't vant to move."

"However, I could hear Bessie moaning and groaning."

I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.

Shortly after da accident da Minnesota Highway Patrolman came to da scene. He could hear Bessie
moaning and groaning so he vent over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her right 'tween da eyes. "

"Then the Patrolman came across da road, gun still in hand, looked at me and said, How are you feeling?'"

"Now vat the hell vould YOU say?"

Looking for the car keys

This link is too funny.  For the more experienced set some of this rings true.  Less experienced folks - beware - it will happen to you later.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etwRGuNWZVc

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

King Arthur and his friend Lancelot

King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer; he would be put to death.


The question? What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.



He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with every one, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.

But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the-Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered .... is to be in charge of her own life..

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him.. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day ... or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below. BUT.... make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY?






Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.



Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.



Now .... what is the moral to this story?



Scroll down






The moral is ...

If you don't let a woman have her own way ....

Things are going to get ugly

Beautiful Photography

National Geographic had a competition with the photos at this site the winners:
http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2009/11/national_geographics_internati.html

Monday, November 23, 2009

What did the pumpkin do?


Caribou Mocha fans

Caribou Coffee: $1 Off Medium or Large Mocha


By Carrie Rocha on November 17, 2009

Caribou has a $1 off any medium or large mocha printable coupon available on their website. Expires November 30, 2009.

Caribou continues their 1-2-3 Mondays, but has modified those deals. Every Monday you’ll pay $1 for a Medium Caribou Blend Coffee, $2 for a Medium Mocha (I don’t think the coupon will work on top of this deal), or $3 for a Small Latte and Bakery Item both. I’ll remind you of these again on Sunday.

http://www.cariboucoffee.com/page/1/chocolate-coupon.jsp

Happy coffee drinking!

More Household Hints

DID YOU KNOW?




Peel a banana from the bottom and you won't have to
pick the little 'stringy things' off of it. That's how the primates do it.


Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store.
If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster.

Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminium foil.
It will stay fresh much longer and not mould!

Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating.
Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.

Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef.
It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking.

To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich add a couple of
spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream in and then beat them up.

For a cool brownie treat, make brownies as directed. Melt Andes mints
in double broiler and pour over warm brownies. Let set for a wonderful minty frosting.

Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light taste
of garlic and at the end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of garlic.

Leftover snickers bars make a delicious dessert. Simply chop them up with the food
chopper. Peel, core and slice a few apples. Place them in a baking dish and sprinkle
the chopped candy bars over the apples. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes!!!
Serve alone or with vanilla ice cream. Yum!

Heat up leftover pizza in a non stick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to medium-low
and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on
the cooking channel and it really works.

Easy Deviled Eggs
Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up. Add remainder of
ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy,
squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.

Expanding Frosting
When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer
for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes
with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories per serving.

Reheating refrigerated bread
To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in
a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food
moist and help it reheat faster.

Newspaper weeds away
Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers,
put layers around the plants overlapping as you go cover with mulch and for-
get about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not
get through wet newspapers.

Broken Glass
Use a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass you can't see easily.

No More Mosquitoes
Place a dryer sheet in your pocket.
It will keep the mosquitoes away.

Squirrel Away!
To keep squirrels from eating your plants, sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper.
The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it.

Flexible vacuum
To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel
roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in
narrow openings.

Reducing Static Cling
Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt
or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose.
Place pin in seam of slacks and ... ta da! ... static is gone.

Measuring Cups
Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water.
Dump out the hot water, but don't dry cup. Next, add your ingredient, such
as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.

Foggy Windshield?
Do you hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of
your car . When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!

Reopening envelope
If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside,
just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals
easily.

Conditioner
Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's cheaper than shaving cream and
leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you
bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair.

Goodbye Fruit Flies
To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass, fill it 1/2' with Apple Cider Vinegar
and 2 drops of dish washing liquid; mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the
cup and gone forever!

Get Rid of Ants
Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it 'home,' can't
digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works
and you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!

INFO ABOUT CLOTHES DRYERS
The heating unit went out on my dryer! The gentleman that fixes things around the
house for us told us that he wanted to show us something and he went over to the
dryer and pulled out the lint filter. It was clean. (I always clean the lint from the fil-
ter after every load clothes.) He told us that he wanted to show us something; he
took the filter over to the sink and ran hot water over it. The lint filter is made of a
mesh material ... I'm sure you know what your dryer's lint filter looks like. Well ...
the hot water just sat on top of the mesh! It didn't go through it at all! He told us
that dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh that's what burns out the heating unit.

You can't SEE the film, but it's there. It's what is in the dryer sheets to make your
clothes soft and static free ... that nice fragrance too. You know how they can feel
waxy when you take them out of the box ... well this stuff builds up on your clothes
and on your lint screen. This is also what causes dryer units to potentially burn your
house down with it! He said the best way to keep your dryer working for a very long
time (and to keep your electric bill lower) is to take that filter out and wash it with
hot soapy water and an old toothbrush (or other brush) at least every two months.
He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long! How about that!?!
Learn something new everyday! I certainly didn't know dryer sheets would do that.
So , I thought I'd share!

Note: I went to my dryer and tested my screen by running water on it. The water ran
through a little bit but mostly collected all the water in the mesh screen. I washed it
with warm soapy water and a nylon brush and I had it done in 30 seconds. Then when
I rinsed it ... the water ran right thru the screen! There wasn't any puddling at all!

That repairman knew what he was talking about!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Turkey

Turkey Hunters' Tale
Tommy and Billy were discussing their latest turkey shoot.  Tommy
says emphatically, "I'm never going to take my life Laura shooting
with me ever again, Billy!"

"That bad, eh?" enquires Billy smiling.

"Yeah, Laura did everything wrong, got nothing right.  She chattered
too much, constantly disturbed the undergorth, loaded the wrong
gauge shot int he gun, used the wrong luring whistles and worst of all,"
bellows Tommy "she shot more turkeys than me!"

Six Legged Turkey
An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting with
breeding; his mission was to produce the perfect turkey.  His family
was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough
legs for everyone.

The farmer even tried breeding turkeys with other animals.  After
many frustrating attempts, the farmer related to his friend Zeb the
results of his latest experiment, which involved introducing octopus
genes into a turkey.

"Well I finally did it!  I bred a turkey that has six legs!" said the
farmer.  Zeb could not resist inquiring, "how did the turkey meat
taste?"

"I don't know," said the farmer, "I haven't caught the bird yet!"

Turkey Tight End?
A professional NFL team, the Philadelphia Eangles, had just
finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came
strutting onto the field.  While the players gazed in amazement,
the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded to be
given a chance to play at tight end.

Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after
pass and ran right through the defensive line.  When the turkey
returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're superb.
Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge
bonus."

"Forget the bonus,"  replied the turkey,  "What I want to know
is, does your season go past Thanksgiving Day?

Friday, November 20, 2009

Beautiful poem

Beautiful poem - make sure sound is on.  Launch http://www.mamarocks.com/indian_spring.htm

Take note Cookie Bakers

Sign up now for Cookie-A-Day email at twincities.com/cookies.  You'll need to furnish your email address.  Each day from November 30th through December 23rd you'll have a new recipe.

Living in 2007

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when . .


1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

Very interesting...

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb".




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only ... Ladies Forbidden"... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Coca-Cola was originally green.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs - Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person . . died in battle.

If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person . . . died as a result of wounds received in battle.

If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person . . . died of natural causes..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?

A. One thousand

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

A. All were invented by women.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?

A. Father's Day

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase . ."goodnight, sleep tight."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink.

Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the"honey month", which we know today as the honeymoon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts . . . So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."

It's where we get the phrase . . .

"mind your P's and Q's"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service.

"Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~ AND FINALLY ~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.



I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe . . Amzanig huh!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Too Funny!

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?'


MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.'

BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough.'

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?'

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.' Concerned, James asked: 'What happened to the flea?'

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget: During this particular Sunday sermon...'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

How Pumpkin Pie is Made


A man named Jack

The man slowly looked up. This was a woman clearly
accustomed to the finer things of life. Her coat was
new. She looked like she had never missed a meal
in her life. His first thought was that she wanted to
make fun of him, like so many others had done
before.  "Leave me alone," he growled.  To his
amazement, the woman continued standing. She was
smiling -- her even white teeth displayed in dazzling rows.


"Are you hungry ?" she asked.  "No," he answered
sarcastically.  "I've just come from dining with the
president. Now go away."  The woman's smile
became even broader. Suddenly the man felt a
gentle hand under his arm. 

"What are you doing, lady?" the man asked angrily.
"I said to leave me alone. 

Just then a policeman came up. "Is there any problem,
ma'am?" he asked.  "No problem here, officer,"
the woman answered.  "I'm just trying to get this
man to his feet. Will you help me?" The officer
scratched his head.   "That's old Jack. He's been a
fixture around here for a couple of years. What
do you want with him?"


"See that cafeteria over there?" she asked.  "I'm
going to get him something to eat and get him
out of the cold for awhile." 

"Are you crazy, lady?" the homeless man resisted.
"I don't want to go in there!" Then he felt strong
hands grab his other arm and lift him up.


"Let me go, officer. I didn't do anything."


"This is a good deal for you, Jack," the officer
answered. "Don't blow it." Finally, and with some
difficulty, the woman and the police officer got Jack
into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote
corner. It was the middle of the morning, so most of
the breakfast crowd had already left and the lunch
bunch had not yet arrived.


The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood
by his table. "What's going on here, officer?" he asked.
"What is all this, is this man in trouble?" "This lady
brought this man in here to be fed," the policeman
answered. "Not in here!" the manager replied angrily.


"Having a person like that here is bad for business."

Old Jack smiled a toothless grin. "See, lady. I told
you so. Now if you'll let me go. I didn't want to come
here in the first place."


The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled.


"Sir, are you familiar with Eddy and Associates, the
banking firm down the street?"


"Of course I am," the manager answered impatiently.


"They hold their weekly meetings in one of my

banquet rooms."


"And do you make a goodly amount of money providing
food at these weekly meetings?" "What business is
that of yours?"


I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the
company."


"Oh."


The woman smiled again. "I thought that might make a
difference." She glanced at the cop who was busy
stifling a giggle. "Would you like to join us in a cup
of coffee and a meal, officer?"


"No thanks, ma'am," the officer replied. "I'm on duty."


"Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?"


"Yes, ma'am. That would be very nice."


The cafeteria manager turned on his heel, "I'll get
your coffee for you right away, officer." The officer
watched him walk away. "You certainly put him in
his place," he said. 

"That was not my intent. Believe it or not, I have a
reason for all this." She sat down at the table
across from her amazed dinner guest She stared at
him intently. "Jack, do you remember me?"


Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes
I think so -- I mean you do look familiar."


"I'm a little older perhaps," she said. "Maybe I've even
filled out more than in my younger days when you
worked here, and I came through that very door, cold
and hungry."


"Ma'am?" the officer said questioningly. He couldn't
believe that such a magnificently turned out woman
could ever have been hungry.


"I was just out of college," the woman began. "I had
come to the city looking for a job, but I couldn't find
anything. Finally I was down to my last few cents
and had been kicked out of my apartment. I walked
the streets for days. It was February and I was cold
and nearly starving. I saw this place and walked in on
the off chance that I could get something to eat."


Jack lit up with a smile. "Now I remember," he said.
"I was behind the serving counter. You came up and
asked me if you could work for something to eat. I
said that it was against company policy."


"I know," the woman continued. "Then you made me
the biggest roast beef sandwich that I had ever seen,
gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go over
to a corner table and enjoy it. I was afraid that you
would get into trouble. Then, when I looked over, I
saw you put the price of my food into the cash
register, and I knew then that everything would be
all right."


"So you started your own business?" Old Jack said.

"I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up.
Eventually I started my own business that, with the
help of God, prospered." She opened her purse and
pulled out a business card. "When you are finished
here, I want you to pay a visit to a Mr. Lyons. He's
the personnel director of my company. I'll go talk to
him now and I'm certain he'll find something for you
to do around the office." She smiled. "I think he
might even find the funds to give you a little advance
so that you can buy some clothes and get a place
to live until you get on your feet.


If you ever need anything, my door is always opened to
you." There were tears in the old man's eyes. "How can
I ever thank you?" he said. "Don't thank me," the
woman answered. "To God goes the glory. Thank him..
He led me to you."


Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman
paused at the entrance before going their separate
ways. "Thank you for all your help, officer," she said.
"On the contrary, Ms. Eddy," he answered. "Thank you.
I saw a miracle today, something that I will never forget.
And thank you for the coffee."

What?

How I Learned To Mind My Own Business


I was walking past the mental hospital the other day,
And all the patients were shouting, '13.....13....13.'

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a
Little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see
what was going on......

Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick!

Then they all started shouting '14....14.....14'...

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Norwegian Diet

Ole and Sven had really 'packed on the pounds' by overeating during
Christmas and the New Year's Holidays, so their doctor put them on the same
diet.

'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this
procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at
least 5 pounds.'

When the Norwegians returned, they shocked their doctor by having lost
nearly 25 POUNDS each.

'Why, that's positively amazing!' the doctor said. 'Did you follow my
instructions?'

Then Ole and Sven nodded and said. . . .

'We vant to tell you though, we taut we was gonna drop dead dat 3rd day.'

'From hunger, you mean?'

'No, yust from all dat skippin'!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

KIDS IN CHURCH

3-year-old Reese :

' Our Father, Who does art in heaven,

Harold is His name.

Amen. '

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little boy was overheard praying:

' Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.

I'm having a real good time like I am.. '

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the christening of his baby brother in church,

Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.

His father asked him three times what was wrong.

Finally, the boy replied,

' That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home,

and I wanted to stay with you guys. '

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One particular four-year-old prayed,

' And forgive us our trash baskets

as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets. '

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they

were on the way to church service,

' And why is it necessary to be quiet in church? '

One bright little girl replied,

' Because people are sleeping. '

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.

The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.

Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.

' If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,

' Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait. '

Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,

' Ryan , you be Jesus ! '

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A father was at the beach with his children

when the four-year-old son ran up to him,

grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore

where a seagull lay dead in the sand.

' Daddy, what happened to him? ' the son asked.

' He died and went to Heaven, ' the Dad replied.

The boy thought a moment and then said,

' Did God throw him back down? '

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A wife invited some people to dinner.

At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,

' Would you like to say the blessing? '

' I wouldn't know what to say, ' the girl replied.

' Just say what you hear Mommy say, ' the wife answered..

The daughter bowed her head and said,

' Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner? '

Cold winter!

Subject: It's going to be a cold winter !

It's late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation
in South Dakota asked their new chief if the coming
winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never
been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky,
he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the
winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of
the village should collect firewood to be prepared..

Being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He
went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service
and asked, 'Is the coming winter going to be cold' ?

'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,' the
meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the chief went back to his people and told them to
collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again.
'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter' ?

'Yes the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'it's
going to be a very cold winter.'

The chief again went back to his people and ordered them
to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather
Service again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter
is going to be very cold' ?

'Absolutely' the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it
is going to be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen.

'How can you be so sure' ? the chief asked. The weatherman
replied; 'the Indians are collecting firewood like crazy.'

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Pharmaceuticals

The following was verified at Snopes.com:
Let's hear it for Costco! (This is just mind-boggling!)


Make sure you read all the way past the list of the drugs.

The woman that signed below is a Budget Analyst out of federal Washington , DC offices.

Did you ever wonder how much it costs a drug company for the active ingredient in prescription medications?  Some people think it must cost a lot, since many drugs sell for more than $2.00 per tablet.

We did a search of offshore chemical synthesizers that supply the active ingredients found in drugs approved by the FDA.

As we have revealed in past issues of Life Extension a significant percentage of drugs sold in the United States contain active ingredients made in other countries. In our independent investigation of how much profit
drug companies really make, we obtained the actual price of active ingredients used in some of the most popular drugs sold in America .

Celebrex: 100 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $130.27
Cost of general active ingredients: $0.60
Percent markup: 21,712%

Claritin: 10 mg
Consumer Price (100 tablets): $215.17
Cost of general active ingredients: $0.71
Percent markup: 30,306%

Keflex: 250 mg
Consumer Price (100 tablets): $157.39
Cost of general active ingredients: $1.88
Percent markup: 8,372%

Lipitor: 20 mg
Consumer Price (100 tablets): $272.37
Cost of general active ingredients: $5.80
Percent markup: 4,696%

Norvasc: 10 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $188.29
Cost of general active ingredients: $0.14
Percent markup: 134,493%

Paxil: 20 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $220.27
Cost of general active ingredients: $7.60
Percent markup: 2,898%

Prevacid: 30 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $44.77
Cost of general active ingredients: $1.01
Percent markup: 34,136%

Prilosec : 20 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $360.97
Cost of general active ingredients $0.52
Percent markup: 69,417%

Prozac: 20 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets) : $247.47
Cost of general active ingredients: $0.11
Percent markup: 224,973%

Tenormin: 50 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $104.47
Cost of general active ingredients: $0.13
Percent markup: 80,362%

Vasotec: 10 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $102.37
Cost of general active ingredients: $0.20
Percent markup: 51,185%

Xanax: 1 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets) : $136.79
Cost of general active ingredients: $0.024
Percent markup: 569,958%

Zestril: 20 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets) $89.89
Cost of general active ingredients $3.20
Percent markup: 2,809%

Zithromax: 600 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $1,482.19
Cost of general active ingredients: $18.78
Percent markup: 7,892%

Zocor: 40 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $350.27
Cost of general active ingredients: $8.63
Percent markup: 4,059%
IZE="9126" ID="16" SRC="aoladp://MA23455901-0016/ATT0001516.jpg"

Zoloft: 50 mg
Consumer price: $206.87
Cost of general active ingredients: $1..75
Percent markup: 11,821%



Since the cost of prescription drugs is so outrageous, I thought everyone should know about this.

It pays to shop around! This helps to solve the mystery as to why they can afford to put a Walgreen's on every corner.

On Monday night,Steve Wilson,an investigative reporter for Channel 7 News in Detroit ,
did a story on generic drug prices gouging by pharmacies. He found in his investigation that some of these
generic drugs were marked up as much as 3,000% or more. So often we blame the drug companies
for the high cost of drugs,and usually rightfully so.But in this case, the fault clearly lies with the pharmacies themselves.

For example if you had to buy a prescription drug, and bought the name brand, you might pay $100 for 100 pills.  The pharmacist might tell you that if you get the generic equivalent, they would only cost $80,
making you think you are saving $20. What the pharmacist is not telling you is that those 100 generic pills
may have only cost him $10!

At the end of the report, one of the anchors asked Mr. Wilson whether or not there were any pharmacies
that did not adhere to this practice,and he said that Costco consistently charged little over their cost for the generic drugs.

I went to the Costco site, where you can look up any drug, and get its online price.
It says that the in-store prices are consistent with the online prices. I was appalled.

Just to give you one example from my own experience I had to use the drug Compazine which
helps prevent nausea in chemo patients.  I used the generic equivalent, which cost $54.99 for 60 pills at CVS. I checked the price at Costco,  and I could have bought 100 pills for $19.89.For 145 of my pain pills,I paid $72.57.  I could have got 150 at Costco for $28.08.

I would like to mention,that although Costco is a 'membership' type store, you do NOT have to be a member

to buy prescriptions there as it is a federally regulated substance.You just tell them at the door that you wish
to use the pharmacy, and they will let you in.

I am asking each of you to please help me by copying this letter, and passing it into your own e-mail,
and send it to everyone you know with an e-mail address.

Sharon L. Davis
Budget Analyst
U.S. Department of Commerce
Room 6839
Office Ph: 202-482-4458 202-482-4458
Office Fax: 202-482-5480
E-mail Address: sdavis@docgov

Irena Sendler

Powerful stuff...Irena Sendler



There recently was a death of a 98 year-old lady named Irena. During
WWII, Irena, got permission to work in the Warsaw Ghetto, as a
Plumbing/Sewer specialist. She had an 'ulterior motive' ... She KNEW
what the Nazi's plans were for the Jews, (being German.) Irena smuggled
infants out in the bottom of the tool box she carried and she carried in
the back of her truck a burlap sack, (for larger kids..) She also had a
dog in the back that she trained to bark when the Nazi soldiers let her
in and out of the ghetto. The soldiers of course wanted nothing to do
with the dog and the barking covered the kids/infants noises.. During
her time of doing this, she managed to smuggle out and save 2500
kids/infants. She was caught, and the Nazi's broke both her legs, arms
and beat her severely. Irena kept a record of the names of all the kids
she smuggled out and kept them in a glass jar, buried under a tree in
her back yard. After the war, she tried to locate any parents that may
have survived it and reunited the family. Most had been gassed. Those
kids she helped got placed into foster family homes or adopted.

Last year Irena was up for the Nobel Peace Prize ... She was not
selected. Al Gore won, for a slide show on Global Warming.

In MEMORIAM - 63 YEARS LATER

It is now more than 60 years after the Second World War in Europe ended
This e-mail is being sent as a memorial chain, in memory of the six
million Jews, 20 million Russians, 10 million Christians and 1,900
Catholic priests who were murdered, massacred, raped, burned, starved
and humiliated with the German and Russian Peoples looking the other
way!

Now, more than ever, with Iraq , Iran , and others, claiming the
Holocaust to be 'a myth,' it's imperative to make sure the world
never forgets, because there are others who would like to do it again.








This is intended to reach 40 million people worldwide!


Join us and be a link in the memorial chain and help us distribute it
around the world either by copying this and emailing it or sending
other the link to this site.

Canadian Pole Dance

Launch:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMPadNRHbis

For my frugal friends

Coupon clippers rejoice at TwinCitiesCoupon.com

Suddendeals.com sends deals to your cell  phone.  Then to use the discount, the server looks at the notice on your cell phone.

ThrifyHipster.com will send emails of new bargains if you sign up.  This site handles mostly bars.

http://www.shopgoodwill.com/ site has auctions of a wide variety of good.  Another associated site is goodwillbooks.com

http://www.myfox9.com/ also has coupons.

CozyWallet.com has dinner buys, beauty coupons, food specials, etc.
For instance:  Free Coffee Smoothies @ Tropical Smoothie Cafe every Wednesday in November from 7am-7pm or the following coupon that can be printed as well as coupons for McDonalds, Taco John, Quiznos etc.



Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Saying Grace-true tales

Hungry 8-year old's version: 
"Who wants to say grace?"
"I do, I do!"
"OK, go ahead"
"GRACE"

Clueless 4-Year Old's version
"Thank you for this bounty we're about to receive...
Mom?  Why are we praying about paper towels?"

Wiseguy 11-Year old's version
"Thankyouforthisturkeynottobeconfusedwithmysisterthe-turkeyamen."

Reprinted from Womansday 11/17/09

Ideas Worth Knowing

Ideas Worth Knowing




1-- Take your bananas apart when you get
home from the store. If you leave them
connected at the stem, they ripen faster.

2--Store your opened chunks of cheese in
aluminum foil. It will stay fresh much longer
and not mold!

3--Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are
sweeter and better for eating.

Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are
firmer and better for cooking.

4--Add a teaspoon of water when
frying ground beef. It will help pull the
grease away from the meat while cooking..

5--To really make scrambled eggs or
omelets rich, add a couple of
spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese,
or heavy cream in and then beat them up.

6-- For a cool brownie treat, make brownies
as directed. Melt Andes mints in double broiler
and pour over warm brownies. Let set for a
wonderful minty frosting

7--Add garlic immediately to a recipe
if you want a light taste of garlic and at the
end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of
garlic.

8--Leftover snickers bars from Halloween
make a delicious dessert.
Simply chop them up with the food
chopper. Peel, core and slice a
few apples. Place them in a baking
dish and sprinkle the chopped
candy bars over the apples. Bake at
350 for 15 minutes!!! Serve
alone or with vanilla ice cream. Yummm!

9--Reheat Pizza
Heat up leftover pizza in a nonstick
skillet on top of the stove, set heat
to med-low and heat till warm.
This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza.

10--Easy Deviled Eggs
Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag.
Seal, mash till they are all broken up.
Add remainder of ingredients, reseal,
keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly,
cut the tip of the baggy squeeze
mixture into egg. Just throw bag away
when done easy clean up.

11--Expanding Frosting
When you buy a container of cake frosting
from the store, whip it with your mixer
for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You
get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same
amount. You also eat less sugar and
calories per serving.

12--Reheating refrigerated bread
To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins
that were refrigerated, place them in
a microwave with a cup of water.
The increased moisture will keep the food
moist and help it reheat faster.

13-- Newspaper weeds away
Start putting in your plants, work the
nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers,
put layers around the plants overlapping
as you go cover with mulch and forget about
weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening
plastic but they will not get through wet
newspapers.

14-- Broken Glass
Use a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small
shards of glass you can't see easily.

15-- No More Mosquitoes
Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the
mosquitoes away.

16--Squirrel Away!
To keep squirrels from eating your
plants, sprinkle your plants with
cayenne pepper.. The cayenne pepper
doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels
won't come near it.

17-- Flexible vacuum
To get something out of a heat register
or under the fridge add an empty paper
towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your
vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow
openings.

18--Reducing Static Cling
Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your
slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or
dress. Same thing works with slacks that
cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin
in seam of slacks and ...ta da! .... static is gone.


19--Measuring Cups
Before you pour sticky substances into a
measuring cup, fill with hot water.
Dump out the hot water, but don't dry
cup. Next, add your ingredient, such
as peanut butter, and watch how easily
it comes right out.

20-- Foggy Windshield?
Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser
and keep it in the glove box of your car. When
the windows fog, rub with the eraser!
Works better than a cloth.

21-- Reopening envelopes
If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot
to include something inside, just place your sealed
envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola!
It unseals easily.

22--Conditioner
Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs.
It's cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your
legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up
the conditioner you bought but didn't like when
you tried it in your hair.

23-- Goodbye Fruit Flies
To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a
small glass, fill it 1/2' with Apple Cider
Vinegar and 2 drops of dish washing liquid;
mix well. You will find those flies drawn to
the cup and gone forever!

24-- Get Rid of Ants
Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants.
They eat it, take it 'home,' can't digest it so it
kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it
rains, but it works and you don't have the worry
about pets or small children being harmed!

25-- INFO ABOUT CLOTHES DRYERS
The heating unit went out on my dryer!
The gentleman that fixes things
around the house for us told us that
he wanted to show us something
and he went over to the dryer and
pulled out the lint filter. It was
clean. (I always clean the lint
from the filter after every load
clothes.) He told us that he wanted
to show us something; he took
the filter over to the sink and ran
hot water over it. The lint
filter is made of a mesh material .. I'm
sure you know what your dryer's lint
filter looks like.. Well .... the hot water just
sat on top of the mesh! It didn't go through
it at all! He told us that dryer sheets cause
a film over that mesh that's what burns
out the heating unit.. You can't SEE the
film, but it's there. It's what is in the dryer
sheets to make your clothes soft and static
free ... that nice fragrance too. You know
how they can feel waxy when you take
them out of the box .... well this stuff builds up
on your clothes and on your lint screen..
This is also what causes dryer units to
potentially burn your house down with it!
He said the best way to keep your dryer
working for a very longtime (and to keep your
electric bill lower) is to take that filter out and
wash it with hot soapy water and an old
toothbrush (or other brush every six months.
He said that makes the life of the dryer at least
twice as long!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Coupons for Military Families

Hi All,

For those of you that are participants, we have now reach over $30,000 worth of coupons or approximately 18,000 coupons.  These coupons were being sent to a Naval Base at Sigonella Sicily.  They now have sufficient donors, so future coupons are being sent to an army base at Brussels, Belgium.

Thanks for your efforts.  Have a great day!

Nancy

Monday, November 9, 2009

Hollie Steel - a possible Julie Andrews successor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOeWz2k4tTI

Philosophy of Jar/Beers

Mayonnaise Jar and Two Beers...

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some
items in front of him.

When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and
empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf
balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full...

They agreed that it was..

The professor then picked up a box
of pebbles and poured them into the
jar. He shook the jar lightly.

The pebbles rolled into the open
areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and
poured it into the jar..

Of course, the sand filled up
everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full.

The students responded with a
unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two Beers
from under the table and poured the entire
contents into the jar effectively filling
the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed...

'Now,' said the professor as the
laughter subsided, 'I want
you to recognize that this jar represents
your life.

The golf balls are the important
things---your family, your children,
your health, your friends and your favorite
passions---and if everything else was lost
and only they remained, your life
would still be full..

The pebbles are the other things that matter
like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else---the small stuff.

If you put the sand into the jar first,' he
continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles
or the golf balls.

The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the
small stuff you will never have room
for the things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your
happiness. Spend time with your children.
Spend time with your parents.  Visit with
grandparents.  Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your spouse out to dinner.  Play another 18...

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the
disposal.

Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really
matter.  Set your priorities.  The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what
the Beer represented.

The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'
The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your
life may seem, there's always room for a couple of
Beers with a friend.

Zen

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk

ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me

either. Just pretty much leave me alone.



2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan
belt and leaky tire.



3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to
steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.


4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't
be promoted.


5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else


6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.


7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a
couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in
their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile
away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not
for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how
to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day .

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person
again, it was probably a wise investment.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember
anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in
half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a
dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18.. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither
one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your
lips are moving .

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after
you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

AND

22 . Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a

laxative on the same night.

Priceless

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING





A message every adult should read because children

are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.



When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my

first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately

wanted to paint another one.



When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a

stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind

to animals.



When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my

favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little

things can be the special things in life.



When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a

prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always

talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.



When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a

meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I

learned that we all have to help take care of each other.



When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care

of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have

to take care of what we are given.



When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you

handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't

feel good, and I learned that I would have to be

responsible when I grow up.



When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come

from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things

hurt, but it's all right to cry.



When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you

cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.



When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of

life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and

productive person when I grow up.



When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and

wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when

you thought I wasn't looking.'



I AM SENDING THIS TO ALL OF THE PEOPLE I KNOW

WHO DO SO MUCH FOR OTHERS,

BUT THINK THAT NO ONE EVER SEES.

LITTLE EYES SEE A LOT .



Each of us (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher, friend)

influences the life of a child..

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.

Speak kindly.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Keep the H1N1 Away

Dr. Vinay Goyal is an MBBS,DRM,DNB (Intensivist and Thyroid specialist) having clinical experience of over 20 years. He has worked in institutions like Hinduja Hospital, Bombay Hospital, Saifee Hospital, Tata Memorial etc.







Presently, he is heading our Nuclear Medicine Department and Thyroid clinic at Riddhivinayak Cardiac and Critical Centre, Malad (W).






The following message given by him, I feel makes a lot of sense and is important for all of you to know...






The only portals of entry of the HiNi virus are the nostrils and mouth/throat. In a global epidemic of this nature, it's almost impossible not coming into contact with H1N1 in spite of all precautions. Contact with H1N1 is not so much of a problem as proliferation is.






While you are still healthy and not showing any symptoms of H1N1 infection, in order to prevent proliferation, aggravation of symptoms and development of secondary infections, some very simple steps, not fully highlighted in most official communications, can be practiced (instead of focusing on how to stock N95 or Tamiflu):






1. Frequent hand-washing (well highlighted in all official communications). This is not a joke. Make it a ritual habit...make it part of your daily routine... DO NOT BE LAZY...!!!






2. "Hands-off-the-face" approach. Resist all temptations to touch any part of face (unless you want to eat, bathe or slap).






3. Gargle twice a day with warm salt water (use Listerine if you don't trust salt). H1N1 takes 2-3 days after initial infection in the throat/ nasal cavity to proliferate and show characteristic symptoms. Simple gargling prevents proliferation. In a way, gargling with salt water has the same effect on a healthy individual that Tamiflu has on an infected one. Don't underestimate this simple, inexpensive and powerful preventative method.






4. Similar to 3 above, clean your nostrils at least once every day with warm salt water. Not everybody may be good at Jala Neti or Sutra Neti (very good Yoga asanas to clean nasal cavities), but blowing the nose hard once a day and swabbing both nostrils with cotton buds dipped in warm salt water is very effective in bringing down viral population.






5. *Boost your natural immunity with foods that are rich in Vitamin C (Amla and other citrus fruits). If you have to supplement with Vitamin C tablets, make sure that it also has Zinc to boost absorption.






6. Drink as much of warm liquids as you can. Drinking warm liquids has the same effect as gargling, but in the reverse direction. They wash off proliferating viruses from the throat into the stomach where they cannot survive, proliferate or do any harm.






LET'S ALL BE HEALTHY AND HAPPY!

Free food provided for animals

Hi, all you animal lovers!




This is pretty simple... Please ask ten friends to each ask a further ten today!

The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily so they can meet their quota of getting FREE FOOD donated every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a minute (about 15 seconds) to go to their site and click on the purple box 'fund food for animals for free'. This doesn't cost you a thing.

Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange for advertising.

Here's the web site! Please pass it along to people you know.

http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/ http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/

Note the tab across this site.  It enables you to donate toward other worthy causes as well.

Happy Marriage

Ole's successful marriage formula . . . .

At All Saints Lutheran Church in Minneapolis,

Minnesota they have a weekly husband's marriage seminar.
At the session last week, the Pastor asked Ole
Westrum, who was approaching his 50th
wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some
insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these
years.


Vell, Ole replied to the assembled husbands,
'I've tried to treat her nice, spend da money on her, but best of all, I
took her to Norvay for da 20th anniversary!'


The Pastor responded, "Ole, you are an
amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell
us what you are planning for your 50TH anniversary."


Ole proudly replied, "I'm a-gonna go

get her."

Monday, November 2, 2009

Unusual Facts


A male kangaroo is called a boomer, and a female is called a flyer.

 The word “upset” came into use for a surprise outcome when a horse named Upset became the first to ever beat the legendary Man O’ War.

 For hundreds of years, the Chinese zealously guarded the secret of sericulture; imperial law decreed death by torture to those who disclosed how to make silk.


Yahoo! is an acronym for “Yet Another Hiearchical Officious Oracle.” David Filo and Jerry Yang were in a trailer in Palo Alto, Calif., thinking of a name for their hobby!


Where did the term "hush puppies" come from to describe the fried cornmeal and fish dish?

The name is thought to have come from people using these treats to quiet unruly dogs. They would toss the treats and say, "Hush, puppy."