Children's science exam answers... 
Q: Name the four seasons. 
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. 
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. 
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. 
Q: How is dew formed? 
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. 
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (Brilliant, love this!) 
A: Keep it in the cow. 
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? 
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight 
Q: What are steroids? 
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. 
Q: What happens to your body as you age? 
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental 
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? 
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.  (The kid gets an A+ for this answer!) 
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes 
A: Premature death 
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen) 
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U. 
Q: What is the fibula? 
A: A small lie. 
Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one..) 
A: Nearby. 
Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.' 
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome . 
Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?' 
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
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