Tuesday, January 10, 2012

__MY LAST TRIP TO COSTCO





Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of  
Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in  
the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So because I'm retired and have  
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog,  
I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably  
shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd  
lost 50 poundsbefore I awakened in an intensive care ward with  
tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way  
that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and  
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is  
nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it  
again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line  
was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog  
food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff  
a poodle's butt and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack  
he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask  
retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of  
crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired  
friends...it will be their laugh for the day!

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