Thursday, May 27, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
True Friends
Not a dog but a hound!!! The dog pictured is a Bluetick Coon Hound. They are generally very loving and social and absolutely love people or anything they take a fancy too except for racoons!
True Friends
After losing his parents, this three-year old orangutan was so depressed he wouldn't eat and didn't respond to any medical treatments. The veteranarians thought he would surely die from sadness. The zoo keepers found an old sick dog on the grounds in the park at the zoo where the orangutan lived and took the dog to the animal treatment center. The dog arrived at the same time the orangutan was there being treated. The two lost souls met and have been inseparable ever since.
The orangutan found a new reason to live and each always tries his best to be a good companion to his new found friend. They are together 24 hours a day in all their activities.
They live in Northern California where swimming is their favorite past time, although Roscoe (the orangutan) is a little afraid of the water and needs his friend's help to swim.
Together they have discovered the joy and laughter in life and the value of friendship.
They have found more than a friendly shoulder to lean on.
Long Live Friendship!!!!!!!
True Friends
After losing his parents, this three-year old orangutan was so depressed he wouldn't eat and didn't respond to any medical treatments. The veteranarians thought he would surely die from sadness. The zoo keepers found an old sick dog on the grounds in the park at the zoo where the orangutan lived and took the dog to the animal treatment center. The dog arrived at the same time the orangutan was there being treated. The two lost souls met and have been inseparable ever since.
The orangutan found a new reason to live and each always tries his best to be a good companion to his new found friend. They are together 24 hours a day in all their activities.
They live in Northern California where swimming is their favorite past time, although Roscoe (the orangutan) is a little afraid of the water and needs his friend's help to swim.
Together they have discovered the joy and laughter in life and the value of friendship.
They have found more than a friendly shoulder to lean on.
Long Live Friendship!!!!!!!
Friday, May 14, 2010
Sex of a Fly
How to Tell the Sex of a Fly
JUST TOO CUTE.
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting Flies"
"Oh! Killing any?" she asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,"
Intrigued, she asked.
"How can you tell them apart?"
He responded,
"3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone".
Tell Me This Won't Happen to Us!
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report
that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she
explains her situation to the dispatcher: 'They've
stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and
even the accelerator!' she cried. The dispatcher said,
'Stay calm. An officer is on the way.' A few minutes
later, the officer radios in 'Disregard.' He says.
'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!
________________________________________________________________________
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house
together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts
her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters,
'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The
94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come
up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses
'Was I going up the stairs or down? The 92-year-old is
sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her
sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I
never get that forgetful, knock on wood...' She then
yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as
I see who's at the door.'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
________________________________________________________________________
'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf
one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy,
isn't it?' 'No,' the second man replied,
'it's Thursday..' And the third man chimed in,
'So am I. Let's have a beer.'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
_______________________________________________________________________
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a
nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of
her nightgown and say 'Supersex...' She walked up to
an elderly man in a wheelchair.. Flipping her gown at him,
she said, 'Supersex.' He sat silently for a mom ent
or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the
soup.'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
____________________________________________________________________
Now this one is just too Precious...LOL!
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over
the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and
adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to
meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the
other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me ... I know
we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't
think of your name! I've thought And thought, but I
can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is..
Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes she
just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How
soon do you need to know?'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
_______________________________________________________________________
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car
phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice
urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news
that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.
Please be careful!' 'Heck,' said Herman,
'It's not just one car.. It's hundreds of them!'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
_________________________________________________________________
DRIVING
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both
could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising
along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red,
but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger
seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could
have sworn we just went through a red light.'
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection
and the light was red. Again, they went right through. The
woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light
had been red but was really concerned that she was losing
it. She was getting nervous.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red
and they went on through. So, She turned to the other woman
and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran
through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us
both!'
Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving?'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
________________________________________
that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she
explains her situation to the dispatcher: 'They've
stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and
even the accelerator!' she cried. The dispatcher said,
'Stay calm. An officer is on the way.' A few minutes
later, the officer radios in 'Disregard.' He says.
'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!
________________________________________________________________________
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house
together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts
her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters,
'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The
94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come
up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses
'Was I going up the stairs or down? The 92-year-old is
sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her
sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I
never get that forgetful, knock on wood...' She then
yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as
I see who's at the door.'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
________________________________________________________________________
'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf
one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy,
isn't it?' 'No,' the second man replied,
'it's Thursday..' And the third man chimed in,
'So am I. Let's have a beer.'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
_______________________________________________________________________
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a
nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of
her nightgown and say 'Supersex...' She walked up to
an elderly man in a wheelchair.. Flipping her gown at him,
she said, 'Supersex.' He sat silently for a mom ent
or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the
soup.'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
____________________________________________________________________
Now this one is just too Precious...LOL!
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over
the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and
adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to
meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the
other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me ... I know
we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't
think of your name! I've thought And thought, but I
can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is..
Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes she
just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How
soon do you need to know?'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
_______________________________________________________________________
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car
phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice
urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news
that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.
Please be careful!' 'Heck,' said Herman,
'It's not just one car.. It's hundreds of them!'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
_________________________________________________________________
DRIVING
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both
could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising
along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red,
but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger
seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could
have sworn we just went through a red light.'
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection
and the light was red. Again, they went right through. The
woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light
had been red but was really concerned that she was losing
it. She was getting nervous.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red
and they went on through. So, She turned to the other woman
and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran
through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us
both!'
Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving?'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
________________________________________
Monday, May 10, 2010
Whose Smart?
There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at Tim's Grocery Store. The owner Tim doesn't know what Junior's problem is, but the boys like to tease him. They say he is two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles shy of a barrel.
To prove it, sometimes they offer Junior his choice between a nickel and a dime. He always takes the nickel - they say - because it's bigger.
One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, Tim got him off to one side and said, "Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"
And Junior said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd quit doing it!"
To prove it, sometimes they offer Junior his choice between a nickel and a dime. He always takes the nickel - they say - because it's bigger.
One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, Tim got him off to one side and said, "Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"
And Junior said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd quit doing it!"
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