Wednesday, January 12, 2011

My resume'

1.     My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned.  Couldn’t concentrate!

2.     Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3.     After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn’t suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4.     Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

5.     Then, tried being a Chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn’t have the thyme.

6.     Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it... couldn’t cut the mustard.

7.     My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn’t noteworthy.

8.     I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn’t have any patients.

9.     Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory.  Tried hard but just didn’t fit in.

10.            I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn’t live on my net income.

11.            Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

12.            So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.

13.            After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14.            My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.

15.            SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND I’M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!!

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