Peace

May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been giv en to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.

Modern 'Twas the Night...

'Twas the night before Christmas & out on the ranch

The pond was froze over & so was the branch.

The snow was piled up belly-deep to a mule.

The kids were all home on vacation from school,

And happier young folks you never did see-

Just all sprawled around a-watchin' TV.

Then suddenly, some time around 8 o'clock,

There came a surprise that gave them a shock!

The power went off, the TV went dead!

When Grandpa came in from out in the shed

With an armload of wood, the house was all dark.

"Just what I expected," they heard him remark.

"Them power line wires must be down from the snow.

Seems sorter like times on the ranch long ago."

"I'll hunt up some candles," said Mom.  "With their light,

And the fireplace, I reckon we'll make out all right."

The teen-agers all seemed enveloped in gloom.

Then Grandpa came back from a trip to his room,

Uncased his old fiddle & started to play

That old Christmas song about bells on a sleigh.

Mom started to sing, & 1st thing they knew

Both Pop & the kids were all singing it, too.

They sang Christmas carols, they sang "Holy Night,"

Their eyes all a-shine in the ruddy firelight.

They played some charades Mom recalled from her youth,

And Pop read a passage from God's Book of Truth.

They stayed up till midnight-and, would you believe,

The youngsters agreed 'twas a fine Christmas Eve.

Grandpa rose early, some time before dawn;

And when the kids wakened, the power was on.

"The power company sure got the line repaired quick,"

Said Grandpa - & no one suspected his trick.

Last night, for the sake of some old-fashioned fun,

He had pulled the main switch - the old Son-of-a-Gun!

-anonymous

Whose Child are You?

 

A seminary professor was vacationing with his wife in Gatlinburg , TN. One morning, they were eating breakfast at a little restaurant, hoping to enjoy a quiet, family meal. While they were waiting for their food, they noticed a distinguished looking, white-haired man moving from table to table, visiting with the guests. The professor leaned over and whispered to his wife, 'I hope he doesn't come over here.' But sure enough, the man did come over to their table. 'Where are you folks from?' he asked in a friendly voice. ' Oklahoma ,' they answered. 'Great to have you here in Tennessee ,' the stranger said.. 'What do you do for a living?' 'I teach at a seminary,' he replied. 'Oh, so you teach preachers how to preach, do you? Well, I've got a really great story for you.' And with that, the gentleman pulled up a chair and sat down at the table with the couple. The professor groaned and thought to himself, 'Great .. Just what I need ....another preacher story!' The man started, 'See that mountain over there? (pointing out the restaurant window). Not far from the base of that mountain, there was a boy born to an unwed mother. He had a hard time growing up, because every place he went, he was always asked the same question, 'Hey boy, Who's your daddy?' Whether he was at school, in the grocery store or drug store, people would ask the same question, 'Who's your daddy?' He would hide at recess and lunch time from other students. He would avoid going in to stores because that question hurt him so bad. 'When he was about 12 years old, a new preacher came to his church. He would always go in late and slip out early to avoid hearing the question, 'Who's your daddy?' But one day, the new preacher said the benediction so fast that he got caught and had to walk out with the crowd. Just about the time he got to the back door, the new preacher, not knowing anything about him, put his hand on his shoulder and asked him, 'Son, who's your daddy?' The whole church got deathly quiet. He could feel every eye in the church looking at him Now everyone would finally know the answer to the question, 'Who's your daddy?' 'This new preacher, though, sensed the situation around him and using discernment that only the Holy Spirit could give, said the following to that scared little boy.. 'Wait a minute! I know who you are! I see the family resemblance now, You are a child of God.' With that he patted the boy on his shoulder and said, 'Boy, you've got a great inheritance. Go and claim it.' 'With that, the boy smiled for the first time in a long time and walked out the door a changed person. He was never the same again. Whenever anybody asked him, 'Who's your Daddy?' he'd just tell them , 'I'm a Child of God..'' The distinguished gentleman got up from the table and said, 'Isn't that a great story?' The professor responded that it really was a great story! As the man turned to leave, he said, 'You know, if that new preacher hadn't told me that I was one of God's  children, I probably never would have amounted to anything!' And he walked away.. The seminary professor and his wife were stunned. He called the waitress over & asked her, 'Do you know who that man was -- the one who just left that was sitting at our table?' The waitress grinned and said, 'Of course. Everybody here knows him. That's Ben Hooper. He's governor of Tennessee !'

The Soldier at Christmas

Christmas Poem
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF
PLASTER AND STONE.
I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO
IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.
I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.
NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.
WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.
FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.
THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.
THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.
WAS THIS THE HERO
OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED?
I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.
SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.
THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.
I COULDN'T HELP WONDER
HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.
THE VERY THOUGHT
BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.
THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
'SANTA DON'T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;
I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS.'
THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.
I WEPT FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.
I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE
ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.
THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, 'CARRY ON SANTA,
IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE.'
ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
'MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,!
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.'


This poem was written by a Marine.
The following is his request. I think it is reasonable.....
PLEASE. Would you do me the kind favor of sending
this to as many people as you can? Christmas will be coming
soon and some credit is due to our U.S. service men and
women for our being able to celebrate these festivities.
Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we
owe. Make people stop and think of our heroes, living and
dead, who sacrificed themselves for us. Please, do your
small part to plant this small seed

OLD FISHERMAN

A guy is nearly 60 years old and loves to fish.

He was sitting in his boat the other day

when he heard a voice say,

'Pick me up.'

He looked around and couldn't see any one.

He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again,

'Pick me up.'

He looked in the water and there, floating on the top , was a frog.

The man said, 'Are you talking to me?'

The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you.

Pick me up then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman
you have ever seen.

I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I
will be your bride!'

The man looked at the frog for a short time,

reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast
pocket.

Then the frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?

I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride.'

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,





'Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog.'

Shocking Shopping Mall

Go to:


http://www.youtube.com/user/AlphabetPhotography

More Ole and Lena Jokes

Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio. "There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared" the weather report said. "You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." Ole says "Jeez, okay," and gets up from his coffee.
The next day they're sitting down with their morning cups of coffee and the weather forecast is "There will be 2 to 4inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets." Again Ole says "Jeez, okay," and gets up from his coffee. Two days later, again they're sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast is "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the..."
Just then the power goes out and Ole doesn't get the rest of the instructions. He turns to Lena and says "Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?" And Lena replies "Aw, Ole, just leave the car in the garage today."
                                                                                                                                              
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Words of wisdom  - Ole says “Never buy a chain saw from a guy nicknamed “Stumpy.”
  
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Lena started on a diet after she stepped on a scale and a little card came out that said “One at a time, please.!”
                                                                                                                                              
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One day, Lena’s pastor asked her “Does Ole believe in life after death?”  Lena laughed, saying, “Ole doesn’t even believe in life after supper.”
                                                                                                                         
***

Little Ole is a bit of a philosopher.  The other day, he asked little Lars,
Where do you suppose our parents learn all da rotten stuff dey tell us kids not to do??” 





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Ole and Lena were visiting relatives in North Dakota and they noticed the almost tree-less terrain.  Ole said “Da Nort Dakota state tree must be da telephone pole.”

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When Ole goes into a restaurant, he says “Get me a table near a waiter.”

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Ole was enjoying a drink in a bar after work.   The man on the bar stool next to him kept falling off.  Helpful Ole asked the bartender the man’s name and address.  Ole called a cab and on the way to the cab, the man kept falling down. Ole kept picking him up and finally got him into the cab.  When they got to the man’s house, Ole tried to help him out of the cab, but he kept falling down.  Finally, they made it to the front door and Ole rang the doorbell.  A lady came to the door and Ole said “Mrs. Yipperman, I brought your husband home.”  The lady said, “Where’s his wheel chair??”


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Ole’s neighbor,Sven, had a boy Sven, Jr.,who came home from school one day and asked  “Papa, I have da biggest feet in da third grade; is dat becoss I’m Norvegian?”  No, said Sven, dat’s because you’re nineteen.”
                                                                                                                                              
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A sign in the window of Ole’s restaurant -- “All you can keep down.. for $4.95.”


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At a midweek Easter service the pastor spotted Ole leaving the church during his rather lengthy sermon.  Next time he saw Ole the pastor asked him why he left so abruptly.  Ole explained he had to get a haircut.  The pastor asked “Why didn’t you get a haircut before my sermon??”  Ole said, “Because I didn’t need one then.”
   
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Ole’s house was swept away by a bad flood, and Ole climbed to the roof for safety.  A man came by with a boat and offered to take Ole to safety.  “No, don’t bodder, said Ole, “Da Lord vill take care of me.”  The water kept getting higher as the house floated down stream.  A helicopter spotted Ole on the roof and got near to Ole and offered to rescue him and take him to safety.  Ole said “Never mind, da Lord vill take care of me.”  More rain came and the water got higher and finally the floating house hit a river bank and knocked Ole into the water and he drowned.  Next thing he knew, Ole was standing before the Lord.  Ole said, “Say, Lord, how come you didn’t rescue me like I figured you would.??” “Well, Ole, said the Lord, “I gave you two chances.  First I sent you a boat and then I sent you a helicopter.”
   
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Lena  told Helga “Our little Ole just got a little puppy.”  - Helga says “How’s it working out?” - Lena says “Vell, ve’re sending him to obedience school, and if it works, ve’ll send da dog, too.”