Launch the following:
http://www.sendspace.com/file/b1a17a
Friday, October 16, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Even Dear Abby is stumped...
DEAR ABBY ADMITTED SHE WAS AT A LOSS FOR AN ANSWER TO THE FOLLOWING:
Dear Abby,
What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence on my VCR?
Dear Abby,
I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.
Dear Abby,
I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.
Dear Abby,
I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.
Dear Abby,
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?
Dear Abby,
I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out?
Dear Abby,
My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.
Dear Abby,
I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.
Dear Abby,
My mother is mean and short tempered I think she is going through mental pause.
Dear Abby,
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?
Dear Abby,
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together, and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?
Remember, these people can vote!!
Dear Abby,
What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence on my VCR?
Dear Abby,
I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.
Dear Abby,
I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.
Dear Abby,
I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.
Dear Abby,
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?
Dear Abby,
I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out?
Dear Abby,
My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.
Dear Abby,
I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.
Dear Abby,
My mother is mean and short tempered I think she is going through mental pause.
Dear Abby,
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?
Dear Abby,
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together, and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?
Remember, these people can vote!!
Carving Pumpkins
Some tips that reached me:
Stencil the design onto the pumpkin or freehand with sharpie pen. Also, you can press cookie cutters to make the design.
If you use a dotted-design, use an electric drill.
To keep the pumpkin fresh, rub with petroleum jelly.
Made a mistake in cutting? Reattach with stick pin, push pin, or toothpick.
A neat inexpensive substitute for the candle is a battery operated candle. Some votive style are about $6 per 5 candles and can be used into Christmas.
Happy Halloween!
Stencil the design onto the pumpkin or freehand with sharpie pen. Also, you can press cookie cutters to make the design.
If you use a dotted-design, use an electric drill.
To keep the pumpkin fresh, rub with petroleum jelly.
Made a mistake in cutting? Reattach with stick pin, push pin, or toothpick.
A neat inexpensive substitute for the candle is a battery operated candle. Some votive style are about $6 per 5 candles and can be used into Christmas.
Happy Halloween!
The "Middle Wife"
The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they w ant to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday..'
'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)
'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)
'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)
'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for
crawling up in there.'
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle
Wife' comes along.
Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the laughs. I know what I did!!!
Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy!
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they w ant to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday..'
'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)
'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)
'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)
'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for
crawling up in there.'
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle
Wife' comes along.
Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the laughs. I know what I did!!!
Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Great comedy
Launch the following and you'll watch Johnny Carson and Dom Deluise in a fun comedy skit:
http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/138148/detail/
Enjoy!
http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/138148/detail/
Enjoy!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Currahee
This is a beautiful tribute to a military person. It is in wave format, so some workplace won't allow it. You can load it from this site - preferably from your home site.
http://www.sendspace.com/file/sis67z
From Sunday Morning - Charles Osgood show.
http://www.sendspace.com/file/sis67z
From Sunday Morning - Charles Osgood show.
Thoughtful words
"It's not knowing what to do, it's doing what you know" - Anthony Robbins
"Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or to lose" Lyndon B Johnson
"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase" Martin Luther King, Jr.
"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on and it will be better tomorrow." —Maya Angelou
If you enjoy these, they come from dailywd.womansday.com which posts new ones daily.
"Iknow God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." Mother Teresa
"Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or to lose" Lyndon B Johnson
"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase" Martin Luther King, Jr.
"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on and it will be better tomorrow." —Maya Angelou
If you enjoy these, they come from dailywd.womansday.com which posts new ones daily.
"Iknow God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." Mother Teresa
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