Telling your kids how they were born is not that hard anymore................
A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
Scroll down...You'll love this ....
"You got Male!"
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Mayo - heart attack (not verified)
Dr. Virend Somers, a cardiologist from the Mayo Clinic who is lead author of the report in the July 29, 2008 issue of the Journal of the American College of Cardiology.
Most heart attacks occur in the day, generally between 6 a.m. and noon, Somers said. Having one during the night, when the heart should be most at rest, means that something unusual happened, he said. Somers and his colleagues have been working for a decade to show that sleep apnea is to blame..
If you take an aspirin or a baby aspirin once a day, to take it at night the reason: aspirin has a 24-hour half-life; therefore, if most heart attacks happen in the wee hours of the morning, the aspirin would be strongest in your system. Fyi, aspirin lasts a really long time in your medicine chest - years. (When it gets old, it smells like vinegar.)
Please read on. WHY ASPIRIN BY YOUR BED save lives ...
It is important to always have ASPIRIN in the home!!!
There are other symptoms of an heart attack besides the pain on the left arm. One must also be aware of an intense pain on the chin, as well as nausea and lots of sweating, however these symptoms may also occur less frequently.
NOTE : There may be no pain in the chest during an heart attack.
The majority of people (about 60%) who had an heart attack during their sleep, did not wake up. However, if it occurs, the chest pain may wake you up from your deep sleep.
If that happens,IMMEDIATELY DISSOLVE TWO ASPIRINS IN YOUR MOUTH and swallow them with a bit of water.
Afterwards, phone a neighbor or a family member who lives very close by and state HEART ATTACK!!! and that you have taken 2 ASPIRINS. Take a seat on a chair or sofa and wait for their arrival and ....
DO NOT LIE DOWN !!!
A Cardiologist has stated that, if each person, after receiving this e-mail, lets 10 people know, probably a life can be saved!
Most heart attacks occur in the day, generally between 6 a.m. and noon, Somers said. Having one during the night, when the heart should be most at rest, means that something unusual happened, he said. Somers and his colleagues have been working for a decade to show that sleep apnea is to blame..
If you take an aspirin or a baby aspirin once a day, to take it at night the reason: aspirin has a 24-hour half-life; therefore, if most heart attacks happen in the wee hours of the morning, the aspirin would be strongest in your system. Fyi, aspirin lasts a really long time in your medicine chest - years. (When it gets old, it smells like vinegar.)
Please read on. WHY ASPIRIN BY YOUR BED save lives ...
It is important to always have ASPIRIN in the home!!!
There are other symptoms of an heart attack besides the pain on the left arm. One must also be aware of an intense pain on the chin, as well as nausea and lots of sweating, however these symptoms may also occur less frequently.
NOTE : There may be no pain in the chest during an heart attack.
The majority of people (about 60%) who had an heart attack during their sleep, did not wake up. However, if it occurs, the chest pain may wake you up from your deep sleep.
If that happens,IMMEDIATELY DISSOLVE TWO ASPIRINS IN YOUR MOUTH and swallow them with a bit of water.
Afterwards, phone a neighbor or a family member who lives very close by and state HEART ATTACK!!! and that you have taken 2 ASPIRINS. Take a seat on a chair or sofa and wait for their arrival and ....
DO NOT LIE DOWN !!!
A Cardiologist has stated that, if each person, after receiving this e-mail, lets 10 people know, probably a life can be saved!
Monday, October 5, 2009
Roller Babies
This is a delightful video - it does takes some speed on the network:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQcVllWpwGs
Enjoy - and thanks Mark.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQcVllWpwGs
Enjoy - and thanks Mark.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Coupons for Military Families
For participants please know that the naval base recipients in Sigonella, Sicily are now receiving sufficient coupons because of us. We started sending coupons in mid-May this year. In just 4-1/2 months over 15,000 coupons with a total value of $21,021.38 have been sent - thanks to your kindness. Keep up the great work. More is always welcome. The coupons are sent about every two weeks so the coupons aren't stale. Though the coupons may be used up to 2 months passed expiration, time is lost from the point the U S Post Office drops off the package (sent priority mail) to when the military personnel are able to deliver it to the naval base.
Remember that you are welcome to let me know if you want more of particular coupons and those will be given to you.
Pat yourself on the back and keep up the great work!
Remember that you are welcome to let me know if you want more of particular coupons and those will be given to you.
Pat yourself on the back and keep up the great work!
Real 911 Calls, "BELIEVE" it or not!!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and
when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency?
Caller: Fire, I guess.
Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?
Caller: I was wondering.....does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on their trucks?
Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?
Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and...
well.. do you think the Fire Dept. could come over and help me?
Dispatcher: Help you what?
Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
And the winner is..........
Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.
Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn......
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and
when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency?
Caller: Fire, I guess.
Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?
Caller: I was wondering.....does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on their trucks?
Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?
Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and...
well.. do you think the Fire Dept. could come over and help me?
Dispatcher: Help you what?
Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
And the winner is..........
Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.
Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn......
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.
Mental Health
It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time. This little test should get you started. During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director which is the criteria that defines a patient to be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, we offer a teaspoon,a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub."
Okay, here's your test: (Those with an abnormal tendency will scroll to the bottom to get the answer before taking the test.)
1. Would you use the spoon?
2. Would you use the teacup?
3. Would you use the bucket? ..
...."Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon."...
\/
\/
\/
"No," answered the Director. "A normal person would pull the plug."
So how did *you* do?
Okay, here's your test: (Those with an abnormal tendency will scroll to the bottom to get the answer before taking the test.)
1. Would you use the spoon?
2. Would you use the teacup?
3. Would you use the bucket? ..
...."Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon."...
\/
\/
\/
"No," answered the Director. "A normal person would pull the plug."
So how did *you* do?
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